Area51

Metamorphosis

2010-05-14T16:35:00.000-07:00

As for myself—wherever there was a street going indifferently about her business,
I was the dog.
At first I wept.
I became its beatings, shitting on command, bred and bred into more and more of it.
I crouched behind its bark, still as a stone ax.
I lunged at a greasy picnic on the table of some lawn.
I was dog's belonging, dog told me. We were nothing in and of ourselves—
one fiction abusing another.
I woke up in the cave of its crate, in the kennel of its name, the hinges of our jaws
locked tight by the muzzle.
My nose became an organ of thoughtfulness, my ears were shells
in which the seas of the voices of the world thrashed and
Night fell, day rose, the old died, the young went on.
One night I lay down and in the morning I was dog and my actions were fetched
by orders: fetch, lie down, lie down here.
Shaggy mat of thought, intellect swarming on a leash of woofs, I howled
at the door of my own mind wanting out of that empty house.
The tide of abstract thought receded. I grew hushed and flat, marooned inside
the odd blessings of appetite.
The voices of the masters perched above us said, you are just a gregarious
piece of furniture.
The war came and went beyond the bars of my life. I was dog.
Then I embraced it.
Then I was undone and replaced by it.

A Prison Evening

2010-05-14T16:20:00.000-07:00

Each star a rung,
night comes down the spiral
staircase of the evening.
The breeze passes by so very close
as if someone just happened to speak of love.
In the courtyard,
the trees are absorbed refugees
embroidering maps of return on the sky.
On the roof,
the moon - lovingly, generously -
is turning the stars
into a dust of sheen.
From every corner, dark-green shadows,
in ripples, come towards me.
At any moment they may break over me,
like the waves of pain each time I remember
this separation from my lover.

This thought keeps consoling me:
though tyrants may command that lamps be smashed
in rooms where lovers are destined to meet,
they cannot snuff out the moon, so today,
nor tomorrow, no tyranny will succeed,
no poison of torture make me bitter,
if just one evening in prison
can be so strangely sweet,

if just one moment anywhere on this earth.

Blood

2009-06-18T16:39:00.000-07:00

The sun is shining,
But my eyes see no light.
I see black,
I see people laughing,
But all i hear is the screaming.
What is wrong with me?
All I feel is pain.
I see my blood gushing from my wrist.
Sitting in my room all alone,
I feel crowded,
My mind is yelling
"Nobody loves me!"
Is all I hear all day long,
when I sleep I dream of death
The blood has covered the floor,
I feel light headed
The pain rushes through my body like lighting
hitting th ground.
I think of everything I have been through,
rape, drunk parents, beatings by boyfriends, almost killed,
Now everything is gone
Its silent
and as i take my last breath I whisper
"I guess this is all I have worked for......Suicide!"

WAR

2009-05-24T07:06:00.000-07:00

War Means

War Means death
War Means destruction
War Means fire
War Means bombing
War Means sorrow
War Means turmoil
War Means tears
War Means guns
War Means blood
War Means confusion
War Means explosions
War Means mutilation
War Means sickness
War Means killing
War Means occupation
War Means loss
And lots more

But after one side
Or the other side
Has finally had enough
And lays down their arms
To surrender and give up

War Means Peace

Angels

2009-02-23T19:53:00.000-08:00

There are those who believe,
So the story is told,
That at birth you receive
Your own Angel to hold.
You come into this world
On a wing and a prayer
And throughout your lifetime
She will always be there.
A guardian Angel
Who will guide what you do,
Her pure essence is love,
Sent to watch over you.

Dream

2009-02-23T19:35:00.000-08:00

Once a dream did weave a shade

O'er my Angel-guarded bed,
That an Emmet lost its way
Where on grass methought I lay.

Troubled, 'wilder'd, and forlorn,
Dark, benighted, travel-worn,
Over many a tangled spray,
All heart-broken I heard her say:

``O, my children! do they cry?
Do they hear their father sigh?
Now they look abroad to see:
Now return and weep for me.''

Pitying, I drop'd a tear;
But I saw a glow-worm near,
Who replied: ``What wailing wight
Calls the watchman of the night?

``I am set to light the ground,
While the beetle goes his round:
Follow now the beetle's hum;
Little wanderer, hie thee home.''

Darkness

2009-02-16T06:21:00.000-08:00

Walking down the darkened hall, I hear a spooky sound
Approach another corner, do I dare go round
The darkness all around me, can barely see a thing
What awaits me round the bend, what will the next turn bring
I rush around the corner, and see a ghostly face
I cannot see the details, my heart begins to race
Feeling round I find a switch, I turn it on to see
On the wall an old mirror, the face in it is me

Desire

2008-12-04T03:24:00.000-08:00

The expense of spirit in a waste of shame
Is lust in action; and till action, lust
Is perjured, murderous, bloody, full of blame,
Savage, extreme, rude, cruel, not to trust,
Enjoy'd no sooner but despised straight,
Past reason hunted, and no sooner had
Past reason hated, as a swallow'd bait
On purpose laid to make the taker mad;
Mad in pursuit and in possession so;
Had, having, and in quest to have, extreme;
A bliss in proof, and proved, a very woe;
Before, a joy proposed; behind, a dream.
All this the world well knows; yet none knows well
To shun the heaven that leads men to this hell.

knowledge

2008-11-29T17:57:00.000-08:00

Thou knowest all; I seek in vain
What lands to till or sow with seed -
The land is black with briar and weed,
Nor cares for falling tears or rain.

Thou knowest all; I sit and wait
With blinded eyes and hands that fail,
Till the last lifting of the veil
And the first opening of the gate.

Thou knowest all; I cannot see.
I trust I shall not live in vain,
I know that we shall meet again
In some divine eternity.

Poison

2008-11-08T17:21:00.000-08:00

Words that need to be spoken should not accumulate inside.
The hurt, pain or jealousy a person feels can not hide.

Sorrow and anger can be and will be suppressed.
But this only leads to a person feeling depressed.

Anger is a deadly toxin in which the body it flows.
When it takes over limb by limb, everyone knows.

The body - The mind controls and manipulates.
As the poison enters the veins and circulates.

When the poison reaches the heart it's too late.
Disastrous emotions take over such as revenge and hate.

The antidote to cure these emotions, is not so hard to find.
We must search to learn to control our spirited bodies and minds.

Destruction

2008-11-08T16:57:00.000-08:00

Where distant screams haunt the nights,
And streets are filled with empty homes.
Where starving dogs are left to fight
Over lost men's meat and children's bones.

Where a woman's plea comes to an end,
As a sharp gunshot cuts through the air.
It becomes a normal act just to pretend-
To convince oneself there's nothing to hear.

When the world grows silent
And the candle melts the last wax folds.
And we're I'm left in cold confinement
Left only to tear at my bloodstained clothes.

When the hope burns out
And the last cinder dies.
The world's left with only doubts
Where all you hear are endless lies.

When the air is filled with the stench of death
And the dark blood stains the roads.
And the only choice that now is left:
Is a choice of which no one knows.

When the smoke of burning men fills the air:
A smoke that no wind can fend.
When you take a breath and you declare:
This is when it really ends.

Insanity

2008-11-07T19:31:00.000-08:00

I feel like I'm going insane
My anger is throbbing in my brain
Each day it seems to get harder to get by
Sometimes I just want to cry
My life seems to be a double edge blade
The one everyone sees is a sharade
On the outside I'm as happy as can be
But inside the pain is only known to me
I lock away all my tears
Deep within I keep my fears
For the last few years I've been trapped inside
I feel like there is no one to whom I can confide
I feel like I'm going insane
Living a life of hidden pain
Locking it all in
Looking for that someone in which I can depend
Insanity is my state
Or at least it will be at this rate

Fear

2008-11-07T19:20:00.000-08:00

The host, he says that all is well
And the fire-wood glow is bright;
The food has a warm and tempting smell,—
But on the window licks the night.

Pile on the logs... Give me your hands,
Friends! No,— it is not fright...
But hold me... somewhere I heard demands...
And on the window licks the night.

Death

2008-11-07T18:17:00.000-08:00

Death wanders through our lives at will, sweet Death
Is busy with each intake of our breath.
Why do you fear her? Lo, her laughing face
All rosy with the light of jocund grace !
A kind and lovely maiden culling flowers
In a sweet garden fresh with vernal showers,
This is the thing you fear, young portress bright
Who opens to our souls the worlds of light.
Is it because the twisted stem must feel
Pain when the tenderest hands its glory steal?
Is it because the flowerless stalk droops dull
And ghastly now that was so beautiful ?
Or is it the opening portal's horrid jar
That shakes you, feeble souls of courage bare?
Death is but changing of our robes to wait
In wedding garments at the Eternal's gate.

Blindness

2008-11-07T09:36:00.000-08:00

On His Blindness

When I consider how my light is spent
Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
And that one talent which is death to hide
Lodg'd with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest he returning chide,
"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?"
I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies: "God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts: who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is kingly; thousands at his bidding speed
And post o'er land and ocean without rest:
They also serve who only stand and wait."

Ship of Fools

2008-11-07T09:22:00.000-08:00

The Ship of Fools is the whole of mankind, sailing through the seas of time.
On a ship, a small ship, a lost ship. Sadly, every one is a fool.
We live for the here & now, we consume beyond reason.
We waste, clear fell, erode the land, grow thirsty crops in a dry climate.
Whilst living with the belief we can have it all, forever.

Meanwhile our ship drifts aimlessly, never reaching harbour.

About What?

2008-11-07T09:18:00.001-08:00

This blog is about :
About Nothing ....
About Everything ....
About Life & Death ....
About You & Me ....
About the strange days ....

Should i say Welcome or Hellcome ?

That is the truly question